PROLOGUE:If a tweet posts in the forest and nobody reads it, |
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| 1. | “My story will get people’s attention,” Tran said. Nobody disputed it. Nobody was listening. |
| 2. | Tran bought a Greyhound ticket and left for a trip across the country. His wife and son were surprised. |
| 3. | Puffy clouds in a blue sky floated by the bus windows. The landscape below, he couldn’t see so well. Tran was kind of short. |
| 4. | Ever see what the inside of those bus toilets looks like? Tran was determined not to. He held it. |
| 5. | Tran’s phone beeped. “Where ya goin, hon?”
Tran answered, “Parts unknown.” He was ecstatic. He’d always wanted to use that phrase. |
| 6. | Tran liked to watch the evening news on TV. Now all he could think of were those commercials on bladder control. |
| 7. | Beep. “Come back, hon. I promise to make my trainer move out. Or at least into the basement.” Tran doubted it. |
| 8. | Tran had a literary agent as his imaginary friend. Some people had Jesus. Tran had Sarah Wittgenstein. |
| 9. | Bobette’s personal trainer wasn’t imaginary. Tran knew because it hurt when Dirk squeezed his biceps and tried to sell him Power Bars. |
| 10. | Dirk and Bobette talked only about abs, reps, and carbs. Yet they knew longer words. Tran had also heard them say “rehydrate” now and then. |
| 11. | The man sitting next to him smelled like something Tran couldn’t quite put his finger on. Rancid mayonnaise—that was it. |
| 12. | “California, here we come. Right, buddy?” Tran nodded. “John White’s the name. You speak English?” This was going to be a long trip. |
| 13. | Rumpled suit. Black stubble beard. John looked to Tran like he’d been riding the bus forever. Yet they’d gone less than 50 miles. |
| 14. | “Tell you, the Chinese are absolute geniuses at math.” Tran simply gave John an accommodating “Hm.” He was Vietnamese. |
| 15. | “On business or pleasure?” John asked. Tran had to think. “Pleasure,” he said. “Or, no. Business.” |
| 16. | John pulled a dirty card from his pocket. “Immigration Law.” Tran held it by the edges. “I was born in Baltimore,” he said. “But thanks.” |
| 17. | “Keep the card,” John White said magnanimously. “I handle other kinds of cases, too.” Tran noticed “attorney” was spelled with one t. |
| 18. | A baby in the front of the bus screamed, bringing back memories for Tran. Little Sam was already 14 now. Tran dialed home. No answer. |
| 19. | When Tran’s son Sam was a baby, he was all Bobette cared about. She switched her concern to her own body when Sam started school. |
| 20. | The mother carried her baby to the toilet in the back of the bus. Tran crossed his legs. Now there’d be a dirty diaper in there. No way. |
| 21. | A deep clucking sound brought the bus speakers to life. Tran heard “Bhrze, meh-shurt. Ger-zeh op” and hoped they were about to make a stop. |
| 22. | Tran left the station men’s room feeling life was good. Then his credit card was declined in the snack shop, and he wasn’t so sure again. |
| 23. | Tran bought a pack of cheese crackers for $2 and had $46 left. Had Bobette also emptied the bank account? He stuck his card in an ATM. Yes. |
| 24. | Cheese crackers taste great when you’re hungry. Tran almost said “Yum, yum.” But he wasn’t the type to engage in public displays of emotion. |
| 25. | An old couple were arguing loudly in the seats in front of Tran. That’s what he would do—go see his uncle and aunt in L.A. |
| 26. | Aunt Ha and Uncle Duc were still in Tran’s phone contacts. The reception was good. He could call them. Nah, he’d show up and surprise them. |
| 27. | Tran closed his eyes as the setting sun blazed red through the bus window. John shook him awake at the Knoxville station. 2,183 miles to LA. |
| 28. | Tran was hungry but wasn’t worried. At $2 a pack, he had enough cash for 23 packs of cheese crackers. |
| 29. | In the Nashville station, Tran mailed a Grand Ole Opry postcard. “Wish you were here.” For Sam, it was true. Bobette? Not so much. |
| 30. | Memphis. Tran stepped off the bus and felt the urge to do his Elvis impression. But he stocked up on crackers instead. Two packs! |
| 31. | For some reason, on the long ride to Oklahoma City, Tran tired of eating crackers. He called Bobette. No answer. |
| 32. | Tran tried again. Bobette answered this time. “Crackers and cheese? Well, at least you’re getting your carbs and protein, hon.” |
| 33. | As for hydration, as long as he refused to use the bus toilet, hydration was Tran’s enemy. |
| 34. | When Tran asked Bobette why their bank account was empty, she gave him a clear explanation. “Dirk needed a new treadmill, hon.” |
| 35. | At the Oklahoma City station, Tran splashed water on his face. No towels. He dried with his T-shirt. Could he really eat any more crackers? |
| 36. | In the waiting room, John White pointed to an empty chair next to him. John didn’t smell good, but at least it was somebody Tran knew. |
| 37. | “Money problems?” John asked. “Heard you on the phone. Here. Got you this from the machine.” The ham was graying, but Tran ate it greedily. |
| 38. | “Yuma. That’s the place to get work now if you need it.” John said he could make some calls for Tran when they got to Phoenix. 959 miles. |
| 39. | “Sounds good,” Tran said. Picking lettuce wasn’t part of his original plan. But did he really have an original plan? |
| 40. | Tran slept through the rest of Oklahoma. “Didn’t miss much,” John said. Would Sarah Wittgenstein disagree? |
| 41. | “I wanted to see cowboys,” Tran said. There are plenty in New Mexico, John promised. But Tran slept through New Mexico, too. |
| 42. | They say your stomach doesn’t really shrink if you eat less. Tran counted on this being wrong. He refused a sandwich from John’s briefcase. |
| 43. | Tran and John were parting at Phoenix. John gave him a handful of business cards. “In case somebody needs immigration help.” |
| 44. | “My phone’s a cell. The bus: my office. My clients: all over.” John’s office took him on to LA. Tran waited for Corporate Lettuce to arrive. |
| 45. | A dump truck loaded with men stopped nearby. Men in work clothes climbed in. It took Tran a second to realize that this was his ride. |
| 46. | Ever ride in a truck standing up with men crammed against you on all sides? Tran had now. Mental comment to Sarah W: “Mundane, you say?” |
| 47. | His agent Sarah (imaginary) had said his life was too mundane to be novel-worthy. Tran’s stomach growled and he smiled. |
| 48. | By looks, Tran didn’t stand out much from this truckload of men. When he couldn’t answer in Spanish, they assumed he was mute. |
| 49. | One worker patted Tran on the head. “Eso está bien, amigo.” Tran felt warm inside. |
| 50. | Dust from the road choked them. They pulled their shirts up over their noses. As was his wont, Tran addressed his imaginary literary agent. |
| 51. | “Oh Sarah,” Tran prayed. “If this is the life experience you have meant for me, help me along the way.” He took Sarah’s silence for assent. |
| 52. | Almost three hours to Yuma. Tran felt he might faint. If he did, there’d be no place to fall. He was held upright by the bodies around him. |
| 53. | The truck stopped. The men climbed out. Tran’s knees gave way. Two men handed him out over the side. |
| 54. | Tran picked up a crate and followed the pickers into the field. It was there he realized he was in trouble. You had to bring your own knife. |
| 55. | Tran sank to the dirt, disheartened and hungry. He started picking and nibbling leaves of lettuce. |
| 56. | Imaginary message from Sarah: “This is the point where a beautiful girl should enter the story.”
A beautiful girl stopped beside Tran. |
| 57. | “Eres un conejo?” Tran quickly swallowed the lettuce in his mouth. “Yo no, um, hablo Spanish.” Her brown eyes were deep pools of … etc. |
| 58. | “Conejo,” she said. “Rabbit. We pick lettuce. No eat.” Her full pink lips, etc. Tran’s agent S.W. would be proud of the way this was going. |
| 59. | “No knife.” Tran mimed cutting a lettuce head. She smiled and came nearer, even though he hadn’t meant it as a pickup line. |
| 60. | “My name Ana.” She scoffed when Tran told her his. “Is joke? Your name train? Funny man.” |
| 61. | “You forget knife? Where your cabin?” Her voice was soft, etc. Tran’s stomach gurgled. |
| 62. | “No cabin,” Tran said. Ana said, “Where you sleep?” Her look was sexy. In Tran’s mind, Sara W. crossed out “sexy” and penciled in “ardent.” |
| 63. | “No crates, no pay,” Ana told Tran. “Take my knife. I get another.” He watched her disappear, running through the lettuce. |
| 64. | Ana came back and gave Tran something soft wrapped in cloth. A burrito. He bit in, once again stifling the urge to cry out, “Yum, yum.” |
| 65. | At lunchtime, Ana gave Tran half of her own burrito. At quitting time, she added some of her lettuce to his crate. Tran was a slow picker. |
| 66. | “Come,” Ana said. She took his hand. Tran didn’t care where they were going. He was in love. |
| 67. | “My older sisters,” Ana said. They laughed when she introduced “Mr. Train.” |
| 68. | “Tran,” Tran said. They laughed again. |
| 69. | They watched him eat. It seemed to please them. Tran took advantage of the situation. |
| 70. | One sister asked Tran something in Spanish. Ana answered for him. She explained: “I tell her you sleep here.” Tran’s heart went flip-a-flop. |
| 71. | There was a mat for Tran next to Ana’s cot. “Train, you asleep?” Ana whispered. “No.” She slid down off her cot onto him. |
| 72. | Tran felt the warm, passionate embrace of her … |
| 73. | “Take that out,” Tran’s imaginary agent Sarah Wittgenstein insisted. |
| 74. | … in his loins.
“No loins, Sarah Wittgenstein scolded Tran. “I told you. No loins.” |
| 75. | Ana fell asleep in his arms. Tran lay awake wondering how long lettuce-picking season lasted. |
| 76. | Ana showed Tran the quickest way to cut off heads of lettuce. That was in the daytime. At night, she showed him other things. Holy Moly. |
| 77. | Tran was quickly becoming a migrant worker. With benefits. |
| 78. | Tran gave Ana the rest of his cash. $42. Beans and cornmeal from the Company shop. It didn’t have a large inventory. |
| 79. | It had been a while since Tran had eaten any meat. Beans were good, though. Bobette would have approved of this diet. |
| 80. | Tran called Bobette. Her trainer Dirk answered. Before Tran could speak, his phone died. No way to charge it. He shoved it in his bag. |
| 81. | Tran and Ana were always together. Everybody thought they were married. Tran felt the same. |
| 82. | Ana held Tran’s hand when they walked into the field. They shared the same water bottle. The same enchiladas. The same mat. |
| 83. | Tran and Ana had to be very quiet on that mat. The effort made them tremble. Ejaculation without ejaculation. |
| 84. | Tran looked across the field, checking how much lettuce was left. “Too hot to pick in two, three more weeks,” Ana said. Then he knew. |
| 85. | “Where you from?” Ana asked Tran one day. The question took him by surprise. His past had faded away. |
| 86. | “I from Mexico,” Ana said, “but here is better.” Tran said he preferred it here to where he was from, too. |
| 87. | “You married,” Ana said. “But no send pay back to wife and son.” Tran gave a long explanation in a few words. |
| 88. | Ana didn’t understand the word “sabbatical” so Tran changed it to “vacation.” Ana giggled. It made Tran laugh, too. |
| 89. | Tran thought of Ana with each head of lettuce he touched. For him, it had become an erotic vegetable. |
| 90. | Fresh cut lettuce on burritos. In tamales. Tran pictured the Elysian Fields filled with lettuce. |
| 91. | Every day Tran begged the sun to hurry and go down. The dark was the time for him and Ana. |
| 92. | Ana’s Tracfone still worked. “You can call wife and son,” she offered. Tran dialed. No answer. |
| 93. | “Where you go next?” Ana asked. “You come with me to pick orange in California?” Tran said sure. |
| 94. | Ana said it was a 6-hour ride by truck to Bakersfield. Tran’s heart sank. “Let’s go by bus,” he urged. His bus ticket was still good to LA. |
| 95. | “You crazy?” Ana said. “Truck is free.” Tran counted his money. “I’ll pay for you and your sisters.” Ana cried. Her sisters were going home. |
| 96. | “Only me, I don’t have papers,” Ana said. “If go home, maybe can’t come back.” Tran showed her John White’s card. A shot in the dark. |
| 97. | Tran could leave some lawyer’s cards in the company shop, Ana suggested. But she wasn’t interested herself. “I happy now with you.” |
| 98. | That night, Tran and Ana whispered about everything from lettuce to oranges to love. Nothing about going home. |
| 99. | Ana cried, her sisters cried, Tran almost cried. Sarah W’s voice echoed in Tran’s mind. “Easy on the tears. Don’t want to overdo it.” |
| 100. | The truck hauled Ana and Tran back to Phoenix. It wasn’t as crowded as before. Tran squeezed close to Ana anyway. |
| 101. | Tran bought Ana a ticket. “Ooo,” she said. “Soft seat, acondicionador.” Tran grinned. Her $74 sugar daddy. |
| 102. | “Smooth,” Ana said. “I cannot believe. What that in back?”
“A toilet,” Tran said. “Not recommended.” |
| 103. | Ana had to try it out. She took her little bag and was in there quite a while. Tran started to panic. She was locked in. Maybe that was it. |
| 104. | The door clicked, and a transformed Ana walked out like a model on a platform. Sparkling hair, makeup, and a chic black dress. Tran gasped. |
| 105. | “I wash up,” Ana said. “Hot water. Very nice.” Tran was speechless. But Sarah W urged him to say something, at least. He said, “I … You …” |
| 106. | Tran dug into his bag and pulled out the last pack of cheese crackers. He offered one to Ana. “American food.” She frowned. “No thank you.” |
| 107. | Tran thought Ana fell asleep first. She thought he did. Anyway, they both awoke when it was dark on the bus. They kissed. |
| 108. | “Picking lettuce is not bad,” Ana said, “but riding on bus is much better.” Tran wanted to agree, but there was that bus toilet thing. |
| 109. | When the bus stopped in Pasadena, Tran had second thoughts about Bakersfield. He was maxed out on field work. Why not something new? |
| 110. | Tran called his uncle Duc—second generation Vietnamese. Tran was third. “Bringing your lovely wife?” Uncle Duc asked. Tran said, “Um, yes.” |
| 111. | Uncle Duc had a touch of dementia and couldn’t see very well. Tran figured Ana would pass. |
| 112. | “You kidding,” Ana said. Tran told her he hadn’t seen his uncle and aunt since his marriage. And they were old then. |
| 113. | Aunt Ha hugged Ana. “What have you done with your hair? Tired of being a blond? Anyway, it’s beautiful.” Tran gave Ana a wink. |
| 114. | “Duc,” Ha shouted. “Why didn’t you tell me Tran and his wife were coming?” “I did,” Duc shouted back. They were both hard of hearing. |
| 115. | “I thought you had a child,” Aunt Ha said. “Oh, he couldn’t come,” Tran said. “Is there somewhere we can plug in our cell phones?” |
| 116. | More shouting between Aunt Ha and Uncle Duc. Tran and Ana took their bags into the bedroom. Ana gaped at the bed and fell onto it. “Train!” |
| 117. | That night Tran told Ana, “No more whispering. They can’t hear a thing.” He touched her fondly and she cried out, giving it a test. Nothing. |
| 118. | Tran had been worried about Ana’s name. “Wasn’t your wife Bab, Barbie, or something?” Ha asked. “She changed it,” Tran said. Keep it simple. |
| 119. | The family claimed Uncle Duc was rich. Tran looked around their apartment. Maybe it was better than the Corporate Lettuce cabin. Maybe not. |
| 120. | Tran called home. No answer. He texted where he was and the phone number there. No response. |
| 121. | The air was stuffy, and Tran opened a window. “That mountain air will be the death of me,” Aunt Ha said. They had AC, but it was set to 86. |
| 122. | Duc and Ha argued over whether they lived on Union before Ellis or Ellis before Union 60 years ago. Tran started cleaning the place up. |
| 123. | “Can’t get decent help in the store,” Tran’s uncle complained. “What? What about the shore?” his aunt yelled. “We never lived at the shore.” |
| 124. | A cuckoo clock sang out. Tran and Ana jumped. Duc and Ha didn’t hear it. They wound it faithfully, though, arguing about who did it last. |
| 125. | Business was bad at Asian Imports. Tran’s uncle suspected foul play. Meaning the girl who worked there part-time was probably stealing. |
| 126. | “What do you hire that girl for if you stay there watching over her all day anyway?” Aunt Ha shouted. Tran’s uncle waved his hand. “Ahggh.” |
| 127. | Tran offered to help out in the store. “It’s hard work, and I can’t pay much,” Uncle Ha warned. Two falsehoods, Tran suspected. |
| 128. | “The girl” at Asian Imports didn’t seem lazy or dishonest to Tran. Tiffany was her name. She pronounced it Teffanay. “Just call me Teff.” |
| 129. | Teff told Tran she thought business at Asian Imports was slow because of the stock. “I mean, who’s going to buy a silk suit?” |
| 130. | Teff told Tran she would stock items for student dorms. Lamps, mugs, wireless speakers. “If it comes from China, that’s Asian, right?” |
| 131. | Without telling Uncle Duc, Tran put in an order for some lamps, mugs, and wireless speakers. |
| 132. | The world was out to get Uncle Duc and Aunt Ha. Or so they thought. Tran rather doubted it. |
| 133. | Tran’s uncle and aunt never answered the telephone. “You never know who it might be.” |
| 134. | Tran was surprised how little his uncle and aunt ate. It was largely tea and cheese crackers. |
| 135. | Ana went shopping for groceries. She giggled when she showed Tran something from the bag. Corporate Lettuce. |
| 136. | Ana brought order and actual meals to the apartment. Tran’s aunt kept thanking her. His uncle liked to pat her on the cheeks. Constantly. |
| 137. | The aunt and uncle decided to pay Ana for cleaning, shopping, cooking, laundry. $5 a day. Tran thought it an insult, but Ana was grateful. |
| 138. | Tran would get $20 a day for working at the Asian Imports Store. Depending on sales, of course. |
| 139. | “Thought you were a professor,” Uncle Duc said to Tran. “What are you doing coming here looking for work?” (Never knew who you could trust.) |
| 140. | “I’m on leave to do research,” Tran said. At once, he realized his mistake. Research? Even his aunt was suspicious now. |
| 141. | “Research on what?” Uncle Duc demanded to know. Tran’s field was American Studies, but he seldom mentioned it. To avoid the dismissive “Ah.” |
| 142. | Tran’s college assumed he was working on a scholarly publication. He stuck with that. “All about demographics and statistics.” |
| 143. | “Graphics,” his uncle said. “That’s some fancy word for drawing pictures, isn’t it?” Tran said yes. Better to end the conversation there. |
| 144. | In fact, Tran was planning to write a novel. If he did, he would have to pay the college back for the year off. Fine. He had a great agent. |
| 145. | Meanwhile, the $20/day from work at the store helped. Tran’s uncle was starting to trust him. Even let him use the cash register now. |
| 146. | Soon Tran was as loved as Ana, and if Uncle Duc wasn’t patting her on the cheeks, he was patting Tran on the butt. Cataract problems? |
| 147. | Tran’s Uncle Duc and Aunt Ha were worried about something. They needed a lawyer, they said. But you never knew who you could trust. |
| 148. | “I know a lawyer,” Tran told his uncle. He gave him John White’s card. “My boy,” his uncle yelled out. “You have a lawyer friend? Who knew?” |
| 149. | Tran doubted immigration was his uncle’s problem, but how complicated could his case be? He made the call to John White and left a message. |
| 150. | Tran’s aunt and uncle kept the TV so loud it was hard to talk. At first, Ana kind of liked it. The English words came out loud and clear. |
| 151. | Ana kept a notebook as she watched TV with Duc and Ha. One day after Tran came home she asked him what “biyatch” meant. |
| 152. | “The word ‘ambuscade’ appears 68 times in the diary of this first president of the United States.” Tran saw Ana smile. She knew! |
| 153. | Duc and Ha loved quiz shows. Tran’s uncle stood and shouted whenever a contestant made a mistake. His face got blood red. “Darn fool!” |
| 154. | A contestant said “Pike Peak” instead of “Pikes Peak.” Tran’s uncle shouted till he got dizzy. “You’ll bust a blood vessel,” Aunt Ha yelled. |
| 155. | John White never called. Bobette never called. Although maybe they did and Tran couldn’t hear the phone ringing over the TV. |
| 156. | One evening for sure Tran heard the phone ring. He went to answer it, but Uncle Duc waved him away. “You can never be sure who’s calling.” |
| 157. | Tran’s aunt and uncle were still renting their phone. He was sure they could buy one that had caller ID for less than $10. Let it go. |
| 158. | Even Ana knew about “col-id.” But you’d have to 1. Get up and look. 2. Read the screen through cataracts. Tran decided to call John back. |
| 159. | “Tran, buddy. I left a zillion messages. Lots of Corporate Lettuce clients, thanks to you. In California now: orange season ahead. What up?” |
| 160. | Tran’s uncle had a black 1989 Cadillac that he jammed into the allotted space at his apartment. He drove it every 6 months to the doctor’s. |
| 161. | Tran’s uncle’s car was easy to find. It stuck out 3 ft. beyond the other cars in the line. Opening the doors and getting in was the problem. |
| 162. | “Jeez, Ha. You put another nick on my door,” Uncle Duc raged. Tran noticed many more nicks on the car parked next to theirs. |
| 163. | Uncle Duc didn’t want Tran or Ana to come with them to pick the lawyer up at the bus station. “You understand,” he said. “Private business.” |
| 164. | Duc and Ha returned in no time. Alone. “Took care of it at the station,” Tran’s uncle chuckled. “No need to stretch billable hours.” |
| 165. | Tran was disappointed. He’d wanted to see John again. Feed him something even better than that ham sandwich. Must be prime immigrant season. |
| 166. | The TV news was all about kicking Mexicans out. Build a wall. Cut off their food stamps and welfare. Tran wondered who’d pick the lettuce. |
| 167. | “They’re taking our jobs,” the protestors shouted. Tran never heard them say, “We’ll pick the oranges ourselves.” |
| 168. | Tran thought of Huck Finn watching a tar and feathering and thinking, “Human beings can be awful cruel to one another.” |
| 169. | One political candidate called Mexicans murderers and rapists. Ana was scared. “He really hates us?” Tran took her hand, almost wept. |
| 170. | Well, actually, Tran did weep. Imaginary literary agent Sarah Wittgenstein notwithstanding. |
| 171. | Tran remembered Huck’s reaction to the ignorant bluster of the King: “It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.” |
| 172. | Ana started to fear going out, asking Tran to bring groceries home. He told her not to worry. And tried to console her at night in bed. |
| 173. | Duc and Ha liked Ana’s burritos and refried rice and tamales. But they just nibbled. Ha seemed to be getting thinner. Tran was worried. |
| 174. | Ana made horchata rice milk for Ha. It was sweet and Ha liked it but could never finish it. Tran could. He was the one putting on weight. |
| 175. | When Tran came home from the store one day, Aunt Ha was in bed, Ana holding her hand. “Little fever,” Ana said. “No worry.” |
| 176. | In his mind, Tran heard the imaginary Sarah W noting Chekhov’s precept about a gun appearing in Act I. He hoped it didn’t apply to fevers. |
| 177. | In any case, Aunt Ha was up and about the next day. It was Wednesday—store closed, Tran home. There was a knock on the door. |
| 178. | Bobette, with Sam. Uncle Duc stood in the doorway. “We’re Buddhists. Not interested.” Sam ran and hugged Tran. Bobette saw Ana and shrieked. |
| 179. | “Who the hell is she?” Bobette said. “Who the hell are you?” Tran’s aunt and uncle said together. A Mexican standoff, you might say. |
| 180. | “What kind of lie is that?” Uncle Duc yelled when Bobette said she was Tran’s wife. “Tran’s wife is Ana.” Tran swallowed hard. |
| 181. | “She changed her name,” Aunt Ha said—a non sequitur, perhaps, to Bobette. Tran stood silent, hugging Sam. Ana had her hand over her mouth. |
| 182. | Tran said maybe they should all sit down. “Not me,” Uncle Duc yelled. “I don’t know what this person is doing in my house. Buddhist, I say.” |
| 183. | “Stop lying,” Aunt Ha shouted. “You’re not Buddhist or anything. Sit down. Call that lawyer. I don’t know what’s going on.” Tran did. |
| 184. | Bobette confronted Ana. “I’m Tran’s wife. Who you are?” Ana began, “I am house …” then stopped herself. She said, “I am his lover.” |
| 185. | Bobette said, “Is this true, Tran? I can’t believe you’re making it easy for me.” She took some papers from her handbag. “I want a divorce.” |
| 186. | “What?” Uncle Duc shouted. Tran’s aunt yelled, “Keep your promotional literature to yourself. We’re not interested.” |
| 187. | Tran reached for the papers, but Bobette pulled them back. “Not so fast. I’m going back and changing the grounds. Adultery now.” |
| 188. | Tran clung to his son. Bobette said, “Don’t worry. You can have Sam. Dirk says he’s not in a place right now to take on raising a child.” |
| 189. | “Dirk says all the men he knows with children end up with a paunch,” Bobette explained. She stared at Tran’s midsection. |
| 190. | Finally, Tran spoke. “What do your papers say, hon? 50-50? Let’s say the adulteries cancel each other out. I’ll give you 2/3 and sign now.” |
| 191. | Bobette closed one eye—her face when trying to figure out if somebody was trying to pull one over on her. She came up dry. “OK, then, Tran.” |
| 192. | Finally they sat down at the kitchen table. Crossed out figures. Added figures. Both copies signed. Tran and Bobette. No further law fees. |
| 193. | “This is some kind of scam,” Duc told Tran. “She’s out to trick you. Don’t sign anything.” |
| 194. | “I’ll have 2/3 of my pay deposited into your account,” Tran said. A bad deal? Not really. He thought 1/3 better than his current nothing. |
| 195. | Plus he’d have Sam. And Ana. And then there would be the royalties, Tran told himself. Sarah Wittgenstein, please hear my prayer. |
| 196. | Tran gave Bobette a hug. “Say hello to Dirk,” he told her. “And keep watching those abs.” Bobette looked at Ana and actually said, “Humpf.” |
| 197. | Sam’s mouth dropped as his mother left. “A little confusing, I guess,” Tran said. “Hey, you like burritos?” Sam eyed Ana. “Yea, I guess.” |
| 198. | Sam smiled at Ana. He seemed attracted to her. He was going on 15. Hormones, Tran guessed. |
| 199. | There was a third bedroom, but it had to be cleared out. Ana to Tran in bed: “What is these trash they keep? They taking nap, I throw out.” |
| 200. | Sam had his laptop, Android phone, surface chargers, solid state storage, and two changes of T-shirts and shorts. He told Tran he was set. |
| 201. | Tran took Sam to enroll in a summer program for high schoolers at Cal Tech. There was a software coding test for admission. Sam aced it. |
| 202. | Sam was all about software coding. He wrote and sold Android apps. He told Tran his PayPal account had $50,000 in it. |
| 203. | “Did Mom know about that?” Tran asked. She hadn’t paid Sam a lot of attention for a few years, with her workouts, dietary regimes, and all. |
| 204. | “I told her,” Sam said. “She didn’t seem to get it. Calls it play money.” Right, Tran thought. That’s what Bobette called “bittycoins.” |
| 205. | Sam took the bus to class every morning and came home to eat burritos with Ana. When Tran came home, Sam was always tapping at his laptop. |
| 206. | One day Tran came home and heard shouting behind the door before he opened it. Duc was enraged, Ha was crying, Sam was pacing. Ana was gone. |
| 207. | Tran learned nothing from Duc and Ha except that Ana had gone out to get some “Mexican stuff” for a dessert Sam liked. And never came back. |
| 208. | Tran called Ana’s phone. It rang in the bedroom. There it was, on the charger. “Check her call record,” Sam said. It was all Latina names. |
| 209. | Tran wanted to call Ana’s sister, but she couldn’t speak English. “My friend Rob at school speaks Mexican.” Sam smirked. His mom’s word. |
| 210. | Tran ran to the Mexican grocery store. They hadn’t seen her. He called the police. They gave him the number for Immigration Enforcement. |
| 211. | Immigration and Customs Enforcement. ICE. Tran was scared to dial, but did. Phone tree. |
| 212. | “Only written requests for detainee information can be honored. Thank you, and have a nice day.” Tran doubted he would. |
| 213. | Tran slept alone for the first time since he’d met Ana. Is this the way it was for illegals? You suddenly disappeared? |
| 214. | Sam took Ana’s phone to class so Rob could call her sister. Tran went along. “Hung up,” Rob said. “She thought I was a cop or a creditor.” |
| 215. | “Better go find your wife,” Uncle Duc said. “Teff can handle the store.” But Tran didn’t know where to look. He called John White. |
| 216. | “Thought I’d get to see you in Pasadena,” John said. “That uncle of yours, keeps his cards close to his chest.” Tran knew. |
| 217. | “Way I see it, first thing is to locate her,” John said. Tran was glad he saw it that way. |
| 218. | “ICE isn’t far from me. Lawyers can get in. Got to say. It’ll cost a thousand.” “No problem,” Tran told him. It was, but he’d figure it out. |
| 219. | “What I don’t get,” Tran told John, “so many illegals here. Why Ana and nobody else?” “Cases like this,” John said, “usually an informant.” |
| 220. | “Don’t know anybody who might have turned her in, do you?” John asked. Tran thought he might. But the point was to get her out. |
| 221. | Tran slept alone a second, then a third night. He was back at the Asian Imports store when John called. “Bad news. She was deported.” |
| 222. | “Not exactly deported,” John told Tran. “Ana was allowed a ‘voluntary return.’ To Nogales. Same thing, basically.” |
| 223. | Tran closed the store. He sat on a park bench to think. Lots of women who walked by looked Latina. Yet only Ana was deported. |
| 224. | Uncle Duc and Aunt Ha kept asking where Ana was. Sam Googled immigration policies while Tran held his head in his hands. |
| 225. | Tran’s son Sam said, “They don’t deport you now. They remove you.” That’s it, Tran thought. Ana had been removed from his life. |
| 226. | “There’s a Mexican guy in my coding class,” Sam told Tran. “I hope he never gets removed.” Tran concurred. |
| 227. | Uncle Ha kept being surprised when he noticed Ana wasn’t there. Tran had to tell him what happened over and over, louder each time. |
| 228. | Aunt Ha reverted to cheese crackers when she couldn’t have Ana’s burritos. Actually, Tran, too. He was losing his paunch. |
| 229. | A call from John White, Esq. “Way I see it, Tran, you have two choices. Plan A. Your friend gets herself smuggled back across the border.” |
| 230. | Tran waited for John’s second option. “Plan B. You go to Mexico and marry her.” There was a pause. “Just saying.” |
| 231. | Tran couldn’t believe he’d never thought of Plan B. Possibly because he’d been married to somebody else until recently. “Plan B,” he said. |
| 232. | John asked Tran, “You have a passport?” No. “Divorce decree in Spanish?” No. “I can expedite the paperwork,” he said. “It’ll cost.” |
| 233. | “There’ll be things to sign,” John said. “I’ll bring them by in a week. You can pay me then.” With what? Tran wondered. But he said, “Fine.” |
| 234. | “Don’t hang up, Dad,” Sam said. “Aren’t you forgetting something? You sure she’ll marry you?” Tran told John to hold on, covered the phone. |
| 235. | Tran turned to his son. “Um.” It was all he could come up with. Sam said, “Don’t worry. Just kidding. And I want to go with you to Mexico.” |
| 236. | “Wait, John,” Tran said. “I’ll need a passport for my son, too.” Sam said no. He had a passport. “Mom said just in case.” |
| 237. | Sam grabbed his laptop and was on it. “Greyhound to Nogales. Two tickets. Type in your card number here, Dad.” Tran’s card was canceled. |
| 238. | John was coming in a week. Tran had to act fast. Get a new credit card, cancel the joint account, open one of his own. The bank was closed. |
| 239. | Back the next day. “Send this form to your college authorizing deposits …” Send? And then Tran knew it would sit on some desk for a week. |
| 240. | “I’ll stake you, Dad.” Tran asked Sam what he meant. “For the trip. We can use my PlayPal money. That’s what Mom calls it.” |
| 241. | Tran said, “But …” (Whoever heard of borrowing money from a 14-year-old?) But he knew he was going to borrow money from his 14-year-old. |
| 242. | “I’ll transfer the money to your new account,” Sam told Tran. “Takes 3 or 4 days.” You can pay me back from your novel royalties. |
| 243. | Tran took the comment about royalties as wit. Still, he prayed to his imaginary agent. Oh, Sarah Wittgenstein, help me in my time of need. |
| 244. | “How’s the novel coming, anyway?” Sam asked. “Got a lot written?” Tran said yes. “Not on paper but in my head, I mean.” |
| 245. | Sam pored gleefully over the Google map of Nogales. Tran looked over his shoulder, more anxious than gleeful. |
| 246. | Tran hated to go to Mexico and leave his aunt and uncle alone. “Does your son ever visit?” he asked. Uncle Duc waved his hand. “Ahggh.” |
| 247. | “Big shot,” Tran’s uncle said. “My son’s over in Europe somewhere. Never calls. Too busy managing his money.” |
| 248. | Tran arranged for Teff to work full-time at the store and drop in on his aunt and uncle once a day while he was gone. Would they let her in? |
| 249. | Trial run. Teff came at noon, and Tran let her in. “We’re Buddhists,” Duc yelled. Teff put a burrito on the table. “For lunch.” |
| 250. | Tran’s uncle said, “Room service? We didn’t order room service.” Tran’s aunt said “Ana, is that you? You look different.” |
| 251. | Teff said she was Ana’s friend. Aunt Ha cut off a tiny piece of the burrito. Uncle Duc took some, too. Tran winked at his son. |
| 252. | Tran would tell Duc and Ha he was closing the store until he got back. Neighborhood crime streak, he would tell them. |
| 253. | John White knocked on the door, topping off a rough few days for Tran’s uncle. He shouted, “We’re not on the clock now, you understand?” |
| 254. | “Take a walk?” Tran said. He handed John cash, as per request. John gave him the passport and papers in a plastic snack shop bag. |
| 255. | The class was over. Sam and Rob sat at the table with their laptops now. Coding or games? Tran wondered. To them there was no difference. |
| 256. | Deciding what to pack was no problem for Tran and Sam. They each took all of their clothes in a backpack. |
| 257. | “We’re off to get Ana,” Tran told Duc and Ha. “ Any problem, call me or Teff.” They had the numbers, but he knew they wouldn’t call. |
| 258. | Greyhound to Nogales, Tran’s nerves on edge. Could they find Ana? Would she marry him? Maybe back in Mexico she had … |
| 259. | Sam used his phone to snap picture after picture from the window, mostly of barren land. Tran sat holding Ana’s phone against his chest. |
| 260. | “Look,” Sam said. “The fence.” Tran hadn’t used the bus facilities and was still in his holding pattern. Brisk walk across the border. |
| 261. | “Taxi?” Tran read out Ana’s address. “Woo-hoo,” Sam said. “What a ride!” Tran was still gripping Ana’s phone. |
| 262. | “Maybe we should go to a hotel first,” Tran muttered. “Don’t be a wimp, Dad,” Sam told him. “Let’s get this settled, one way or another.” |
| 263. | The driver stopped. “Casa de Anabella Ruiz?” A boy led them to a door. Even if Ana refused marriage, Tran hoped he could use the toilet. |
| 264. | Ana threw her arms around Tran. So yes, it seemed. Then both sisters and the mother. A hug huddle. They included Sam. A bigger huddle. |
| 265. | Tran gave Ana her phone. She kept saying, “I cannot believe.” Then, “You troubled?” Tran had an urgent request. “Sure, door over there.” |
| 266. | Ana’s mother said something. Ana was mortified but translated: “She says have you come to ask for my hand?” Tran nodded. |
| 267. | Screams of pleasure by mother and sisters. Ana threw her arms around Tran. “Mi amor.” Tran took it for a “yes.” |
| 268. | Tran wanted to talk to Ana. But they had to eat first, her mother said. A three-hour meal delay. Sam put pictures of the food on Instagram. |
| 269. | Ana’s mother urged a short engagement. “Not more than a year,” Ana translated. Tran had been thinking a week, tops. |
| 270. | Tran spread out the papers he got from John. Proof of economic solvency, birth certificate, divorce decree. “All in Spanish.” He grinned. |
| 271. | “So I guess we’re all set?” Tran said to Ana. She paged through the documents. “Not quite.” |
| 272. | “What else?” Tran asked. Ana said, “Also need permission to marry from Mexican Immigration Office.” Tran responded, “Huh?” |
| 273. | Ana added, “To get permission we need blood test, X-ray, doctor paper.” Tran started to contemplate Plan A, smuggling her across the border. |
| 274. | Ana said, “Then must go to Civil Registry and marry. Wait for certificate. Take to US Consulate.” Tran’s stomach hurt. |
| 275. | “Here could be a problem,” Ana said. Tran saw she was looking at the divorce decree. “Must be divorced a year before can marry in Mexico.” |
| 276. | Tran’s son said, “Why don’t we just live here, Dad? The food is great.” Plan C?? Tran found himself seriously considering it. |
| 277. | Ana translated something for her mother: “Of course after the civil marriage comes the church ceremony and reception.” Tran stifled a groan. |
| 278. | Ana’s mother urged a small wedding. “Just relatives. A few friends. Not more than 100 people.” Tran saw his son gasp. It was on his dime. |
| 279. | Ana rode in the taxi with Tran and his son to the hotel. While Sam texted his friends, she sat next to Tran on the bed. Furtive kisses. |
| 280. | Sam asked to go swim in the pool for a while. “OK. Sure, that’d be fine. Long as you want.” Tran and Ana made love on the narrow bed. |
| 281. | Sundown. Ana had to go home. She couldn’t stop crying. Post-coital tristesse? Tran wondered. Something different? |
| 282. | Tran said, “Stay.” Ana said, “I will always love you.” She hugged him. And left. |
| 283. | Sam returned. “No swimming after dark. Where’s Ana?” Tran had a bad feeling. “Couldn’t stay,” he said. “Coming back tomorrow.” |
| 284. | Tran and his son slept deeply. Huge omelets for breakfast. No Ana. Swimming, then lunch. No Ana. They taxied to her house. No Ana. |
| 285. | “Where is she?” Tran asked. The mother and sisters turned up their palms. “Not wis you?” Tran’s knees buckled. Ana’s mother said, “Ayee.” |
| 286. | Ana’s mother called her husband in the “computador” factory. Talking in Spanish, but Tran got the idea. He didn’t know where she was either. |
| 287. | Tran’s son reminded him Ana had her phone back. Tran dialed her. He let it ring and ring. No answer. Nothing. |
| 288. | Tran had to sit down. “Should we call the police?” he said. The sisters and mother understood the word “police.” Definitely against it. |
| 289. | Tran gave Ana’s family his phone number and went back to the hotel. Sam did some swimming, Tran some pacing. Then it was dark. No Ana. |
| 290. | Tran to Sarah W, his imaginary literary agent who claimed he needed more experience. “Well, another fine mess I’ve gotten myself into.” |
| 291. | Tran couldn’t sleep. He went out to the courtyard and sat on a bench to think. Came up with nothing. |
| 292. | Tran stared into the pool at the reflected sky. “Chanting faint hymns to the cold, fruitless moon.” An experience he could do without. |
| 293. | Tran’s son, barefoot in pajamas, slipped across the courtyard. “Come back inside and get some sleep, Dad. Nothing you can do.” |
| 294. | But, Tran thought, lying awake in bed, even if Ana changed her mind, why didn’t she tell me? Instead of just disappearing. |
| 295. | Tran must have fallen asleep towards morning because his phone woke him up from a dream about Ana. “Train, mi amor, I am on Arizona side.” |
| 296. | Ana laughed, told Tran she was at Lucky’s Café. She lowered her voice. “Is danger, I know. But I was voluntary return, not remove. Better.” |
| 297. | “I hoping you can meet me here,” Ana told Tran. “Maybe my mother give you some stuffs to bring.” Sam stopped Tran from hanging up. “Wait!” |
| 298. | “Should we get a copy of her birth certificate?” Sam asked. “Might come in handy.” Tran’s not quite 15-yr-old son going on 27. |
| 299. | Back through the turnstiles. This time the US guys examined their passports. Their stares made Tran nervous. He looked for a rest room. |
| 300. | “Open your bags, please. Take everything out.” The customs guy checked Sam’s things first. “You too,” he told Tran. “Empty yours, please.” |
| 301. | The agent stared at Tran. “What’s this? Women’s clothes? Underwear, makeup? Are you a …?” He grimaced and turned away. “Never mind. Go on.” |
| 302. | Sam still choking back laughter as they got a taxi. Query to SW: Does humiliation count as experience? Tran had plenty of that to work with. |
| 303. | Ana sat in a booth at Lucky’s Café, on the phone. The waiter eyed Tran as he approached her. Jealously, Tran thought. |
| 304. | Ana jumped up. “Mi amor,” she said. “Is my father. He want talk to you.” Sam gave Tran a supportive pat on the back. |
| 305. | “Ask for permission,” Sam whispered. Tran didn’t understand. “To marry her,” Sam had to explain. “Oh. Right.” |
| 306. | Ana’s father spoke good English—loud. “Sorry I couldn’t meet you, Mr. Train. But anybody Ana likes is fine by me.” Sam gave a thumbs up. |
| 307. | “Ana says you’re on vacation.” Her father sounded a little worried. Tran said it was a kind of project he was working on. “Supposed to be.” |
| 308. | “Anyway,” Ana’s father told Tran. “You’re better off Stateside. My pay at Chung Wa Assembly would be triple there.” |
| 309. | “I wish I could get hold of statistics showing that,” Tran said. “It would help with my project. But anyway.” |
| 310. | “Tell Ana to text me your LA address,” her father told Tran. “And good luck. She’s a handful.” |
| 311. | “So. Vegas, Dad?” Sam looked at Tran, then Ana. He hummed Faith Hill’s “Let’s Go to Vegas.” Ana nodded. Tran said, “Let’s go.” |
| 312. | Tran slept all the way to Las Vegas. His son picked up a casino hotel coupon in the station. Was Sam now in charge? Well, he was paying. |
| 313. | “Single room or suite?” Tran looked to his son. “Do you have an ATM here?” Sam asked. “Of course.” Sam said, “Suite.” |
| 314. | A 14-yr-old with his own room in a casino thronging with …? Tran’s imaginary literary agent SW scoffed at his qualms. |
| 315. | On the way to Las Vegas, Sam showed Tran websites giving craps strategies. Tran said, “No way I can win.” He won $1,000 in 15 minutes. |
| 316. | “Look, Dad, another coupon. Chapel of Love. Just saying.” Tran glanced sideways at Ana. Hand-on-mouth sign of approval. |
| 317. | Tran thought of his wedding to Bobette. In-law fights over invitations, the ceremony. Drunken relatives. Somebody else’s party, not his. |
| 318. | Ana was worried. “My clothes mostly for work in field.” Tran said no problem if $1,000 could buy a wedding dress. Ana fainted in Tran’s arms. |
| 319. | Ana tried on a silky white dress that left both Tran and his son speechless. $900. “No worries,” Tran said. “It’s free money.” |
| 320. | Birth certificate? Chapel of Love translated it. Marriage license? While you wait. Other requirements? None. Tran and Ana were married. |
| 321. | Sam posted pictures of the bride and groom on Instagram and Facebook. Ana called her family. Tran just smiled. No one to call. |
| 322. | “Tell your mother some day we’ll go back to Nogales and have a church ceremony,” Tran told Ana. When his royalties started rolling in? |
| 323. | The wedding night. Tran carried Ana over the threshold. A quandary: make love or enjoy looking at her in her dress. Love won. |
| 324. | Tran’s phone rang—coitus interruptus. Teff was sobbing. “I think Uncle Duc is dead. Had a stroke screaming out “e” during Wheel of Fortune.” |
| 325. | “Call an ambulance,” Tran said. “I’ll call his son.” It wasn’t the wedding night he’d expected. |
| 326. | Tran called Uncle Duc’s son. “You’ve reached 4290. If I know you, leave a message. If not, please hang up.” Tran left a message anyway. |
| 327. | Ana was crying. “Poor Uncle Duc. Poor Aunt Ha. We must go back right now.” Tran woke Sam, told him. Night bus to LA. |
| 328. | “The EMTs couldn’t revive him,” Teff told Tran. Aunt Ha didn’t understand. “That man and his shenanigans will be the death of me,” she said. |
| 329. | Ana took Aunt Ha to bed. Sam kept saying, “Oh, my.” Tran thanked Teff. When she left, Tran also started saying, “Oh, my.” |
| 330. | Tran left more messages for Uncle Duc’s son. No reply. He found an address and sent a letter. Return receipt requested. None came. |
| 331. | Things got worse. Aunt Ha stayed in bed with a bad fever. She wouldn’t eat. Tran called an ambulance. On the way to the hospital, she died. |
| 332. | Now what? Tran thought. Ana and Sam were at their wits’ end. Then Teff called. Would the store remain open? Tran had no answers. |
| 333. | Tran and Sam went through Uncle Duc’s papers. The apartment was actually a condo they owned. Good. But what about taxes and fees and bills? |
| 334. | “So. You still on vacation?” Ana asked Tran. Oh, that’s right, he remembered. A sabbatical report was due. He had nothing. |
| 335. | “September coming,” Ana said. “We could go pick apples.” As long as Sam would be OK, the idea held some attraction for Tran. |
| 336. | “Can I go to Rob’s school in September?” Sam said. But Tran’s sabbatical ended in the middle of Sam’s school year. “Don’t see how,” he said. |
| 337. | “Maybe you could teach online,” Sam suggested. “I could help you set it up.” Sounded good to Tran. Bobette had the house anyway. |
| 338. | A package came for Tran. Detailed report from Mexican SAT of tax and expense filing of Chung Wa Assembly. Ana’s father to the rescue! |
| 339. | Tran could base his sabbatical publication on the report. Woo-hoo. A year’s salary saved. If Ana could translate it. |
| 340. | “More fun to pick apples,” Ana said. “But OK I try.” Tran’s imaginary literary agent agreed with Ana about apples vs statistics, but … |
| 341. | A call from the lawyer John White. “What’s the story on you and Ana?” he asked Tran. “You guys married? Great. I’ll tell you why.” |
| 342. | John said, “Got a habit of reading the obituaries. Sorry to read about your loss. Old Duc and Ha had a will, I guess you know.” Tran didn’t. |
| 343. | John said, “They left you loads of cash. Plus the condo and store.” Tran told him Duc and Ha had a son. “Oh, yea. He gets the cuckoo clock.” |
| 344. | Sam and Ana were staring at Tran when he hung up. “Good news,” he said. “Let’s go to Uncle Duc’s store. Tell you about it on the way.” |
| 345. | “No mugs?” Tran noticed. Teff smiled. “Nope. Everything we ordered sold out.” Tran said he was giving her a raise. Three months retroactive. |
| 346. | Sam frowned at the few cramped pages in Tran’s notebook. “Like Frost,” Tran said, “I glory in fitting my thoughts into a restrictive space.” |
| 347. | Sam and his friend Rob sat tapping at their laptops. Tran and Ana sat going over the Chinese expense report. A voice called out to Tran—SW. |
| 348. | “Hold on,” Tran’s imaginary agent SW said. “This is no way for a story to end. A wedding. People expect a story to end with a wedding.” |
| 349. | “Let’s go,” Tran said. “Back to Nogales for a big church wedding and reception.” He winked at Sam. “The trip’s on me this time.” |
| 350. | EPILOGUE: Teff took over the store. John got rich. Sam went to Cal Tech. Tran and Ana lived happily ever after. So did Bobette and Dirk. |
